his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
