Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
