Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
