I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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