Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
