420 ftw
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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