I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
