Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
