It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
