She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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