everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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