he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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