He uses pillows to masturbate.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
