he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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