I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
