i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
