Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
