Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
