so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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