Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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