He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Randomize