who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
