everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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