and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
love makes seman taste better
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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