that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
