Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize