she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
