Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
