We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
