At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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