i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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