My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize