just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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