Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
