$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
