Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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