Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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