then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
