Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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