i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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