How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
