Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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