My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
