Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
