I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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