If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i drank out of a bidet.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
