Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize