Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
