sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
