Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize