dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I smell like Dick and happiness
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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