it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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