My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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