you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
