was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
