Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
