White coat. Heels.
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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