So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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