He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
