Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
