they need to just BURY HIM!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
