That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize