What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize