I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
